OUR HOUSE

Today as I look out the front and see the "For Sale" sign - I find that I have a big knot in  my stomach.  I have never liked this house from the moment I moved in.  Part of the problem was I was feeling very angry at God for making me leave the country which I loved.  Arliss thought I wanted the house so he agreed to buy it.  I thought it was the one he wanted so I agreed - typical marriage communication.  We had lived here several years before we both found out that we neither one wanted this house.  Well Arliss plan of attack was to make it the right house.  He busied himself building a sun room and a storage building and turning attic space into a huge closet and adding a patio cover and a cellar.  I on the other hand went looking for houses.  I was determined not to stay here.  Nothing ever worked out though and I went from hating the house the accepting the house, to liking the house and yes now I find I love the house.  It is not the house it is the fact that it has become "Our Home".  This is the only house that any of our Grand kids have ever known - many years of memories now fill the halls of this house. 

It is strange that I feel so strongly about a house that I have worked to get out of for almost 16 years.  Aren't we strange creatures sometimes.  Part of the reason we haven't moved is a stalemate between Arliss and I.  He always insisted we sell the house first and then find another one - I just couldn't do it.  I was gripped with fear of being without a home.  I wanted to buy another house and then sell this one - but that gripped him with fear of owning two houses.  Finally last fall I gave in and agreed to sell the house first and then find another one.  We have been looking and looking but so far nothing has surfaced. 
Arliss decided that we were putting out the fleece.  If the house sells by the end of the summer then we know that it is God's will.  If it doesn't then we are going to forever forget moving until the Lord comes or the funeral director whichever comes first.  I guess time will tell. 
I am thankful for this home and the many memories here but I also know it is wood hay and stubble.  The things that last for eternity are the memories and the lives that have been affected not the place that those memories happened.  I guess if I keep talking I will convince myself of this.  OH well - that is how I am feeling today - now tomorrow - who knows maybe I will have a thrill when I look at the "For Sale" sign in the front yard.